What I Didn't Know

There are many things that took me too long to learn about breastfeeding. Some things I'm still learning and I'm sure I will continue to learn. I have spent 16 months and one day nourishing my son with my body. I'm a first time mom and while my own mother breastfed my brother, I have no memory of this. Before I breastfeed my son I have only witnessed 2 people breastfeeding that I can recall (with the exception of photos, TV and movies - more on that later). This little exposure I had to breastfeeding didn't deter me from trying it myself, but it did mean I didn't know anything about how to do it. I also didn't know what I didn't know.

About halfway through my pregnancy I received one of the worst pieces of breastfeeding advice I've ever heard. I was at my midwife's office, waiting on a regular check-up and I mentioned to whomever was with me that my breasts and nipples were itchy and sensitive. And that they were driving me crazy.

One woman suggested a body oil that really did work wonders and make everything feel a lot better. Another woman had a different approach. She was older, probably had been past her child bearing years for a while.

"You're going to want to toughen your nipples up if you want to breastfeed," she said.

She recommended a brillo pad or scrubbing vigorously with a coarser luffa. "They're going to hurt when you feed your baby so you want then numb to that pain."

I took her advice for a couple days. Then stopped. If breastfeeding truly did hurt, then I didn't want to also hurt my breasts this badly during pregnancy.

This is where I found out that common and normal are not the same. Nipple and breast pain during breastfeeding are common. But it almost never normal. Pain, especially after those first couple of days, is often linked to a bad latch. Baby may need a different position or baby may need a chiropractic adjustment. There could be a tongue and/or lip tie involved. When pumping you may need a different size flange or lubricated pump parts.

Breastfeeding doesn't have to be, and what's more, shouldn't be painful. If it is, reach out for help! Lactation specialists are vital if you're in pain. They can help find ways to reduce or eliminate pain, prevent thrush, mastitis and a host of other issues. Please, please, please don't roughen up your nipples by using a brillo pad.

Another thing I didn't know, or didn't know well, is that breastfeeding is a supply and demand game. Think of it like the ice maker in your freezer. If you don't empty the ice bin, it won't make more ice. If you empty it halfway, it will fill half. If you empty it into a separate container, the ice maker will fill the container. If you don't clean it out frequently enough it could get clogged. When I read this analogy from somebody's husband, it made sense. I'm not saying that supplements and certain foods and hydration don't help, because many moms swear by them and I think anecdotal evidence has its place, but milk removal = milk production. There are always exceptions to the rule. There are moms who have insufficient tissue or glands. There are moms who over produce and end up with clogs. There are moms who have other stressors that impact supply. And always remember that pump output does not equal supply. Baby is almost always going to remove milk more effectively than the pump. 

Another thing I didn't know: you do not have to have 1,000 ounces in the freezer. I had at most 40 oz, usually though, about 20. I do still wish I would have had more because I thought about ounces and bags ALL THE TIME. Once I realized I would never be able to donate to other mamas and babies, my goal was 100 oz in my freezer for myself. That way if something happened there would be a few days of milk for my little guy.

Try not to stress your stash mamas. That's hard advice to give and even harder to follow. But my baby from 3 weeks on never once needed formula. And those 3 weeks were to help with more fluids for jaundice.

What else was news to me? Did you know babies often eat more often than 8-12 times per day. That "every two hours" may be every 90 minutes. Or every 45. Or 4 hours of cluster feeding.

I'm not saying this to scare you or turn you off from breastfeeding, but to let you know that this is not only common, but normal. And it does NOT mean you have an inadequate supply. Babies have tiny bellies and breastmilk is easy to digest. It's why they pee and poop so often.

One more thing I didn't truly know. How absolutely beautiful and rewarding and amazing and exhausting and awesome if was, and still is.